The Toxicity of “I’ll Be Happy When…”

I will take a guess that we have all been guilty of using the phrase “I will be happy when…”

• I have more money
• I get that promotion!
• I live on my own
• I find true love
• I can afford to travel
• It’s Saturday
• When when when when….

Maybe you defend this “I’ll be happy when” phrase as a way to look toward future goals, or as a way to have something fun and motivating to look forward to! Whatever the reason that you choose to recite or live by this phrase,

STOP.

Now, I am by no means a master at always redirecting this thinking. Trust me when I say that I count down to my days off or to my vacation just as much as anyone.

(This, like many things, is a work in progress.)

The point is to start the process of strengthening control over your mind. With physical exercise, muscles aren’t sculpted in a day, and the same is true for our minds.

Consistency and repetition is key.

The best thing to do when you catch your mind wandering to comfortable, inactive “when’s,” is to stop yourself, and think:

“What is the first step to making this goal a reality? What do I need to accomplish this first step?”

And then dive in and go for it! One step at a time.

The root of the problem with “When” thinking, is that it gives away the control of your happiness to outside factors.

Why would you want to give control to other people or things that will (maybe, one day, HOPEFULLY) provide what you need?

Your life is your life; you are the one who has to live with it, and therefore you are the one who should manage it.

My biggest and most wonderful adventures all have in common that:

1. I chose to dive in and do “the thing.”

2. I chose to embrace my choice and follow through, even if it was different than I expected it to be!

(Sometimes, we have to leap before we can test the temperature of the water.)

Many opportunities can seem big and daunting (Moving to and surviving in Hong Kong with little prior knowledge? Helloooo stress and culture shock!)

Especially if you are prone to anxiety or a high baseline of stress, many big choices involve your inner Worrier Warrior fighting to make us dwell on all potential, horrible, anxiety driven scenarios.

(Ad: Introducing, the Worrier Warrier! Fighting to make you second guess your every choice and move, because of all the possible things that could go wrong!)

Worrier Warrier: What if “the thing” turns out badly? What if you fail? What if the world explodes?!

You get the idea.

Allow me to give you a break from your self-welded mental chains.

The best and biggest life changing experiences ALL involve discomfort and fear.

It is normal to be scared or nervous!

Without getting out of your comfort zone, how will you ever experience the exciting adventures that are waiting?

For any big choice you may be facing, if you want to see great results, it is necessary to take brave actions.

As readers of this post, I am left to assume that you are intrigued by the idea of snagging control over your travel or mental health goals, so this is the point I wish to make to you:

When desiring any goal,

Stop waiting for the “when”

Choose to take action now.

Choose to be happy with your choice…

Finally, love and cherish where the adventure takes you.

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